LEONIDA STATE POLICE
CRIMINAL DATABASE · MOBILE DATA TERMINAL · UNIT 06
UPLINK
GPS LOCK
BOLO ACTIVE
OFFICER: SWANN, J.
BADGE #1138
SESSION 0x1G4N4
NCIC LINK: ESTABLISHED
QUERYING SUBJECT> pink_tee_iguana
BOOKING PHOTOSPECIMEN #06
6'0"
5'0"
4'0"
3'0"
2'0"
1'0"
EVIDENCE TAG #PINK
SPECIMEN #06 · LEONIDA P.D.
FRONT VIEWNO BAIL · NO CHILL
SUBJECT RECORDFILE: IGUANA-06.DAT
| Name | PINK-TEE IGUANA |
| Alias / Street | "DRIP LIZARD" · "$IGUANA" |
| Species | Reptilia · NPC-class · pedestrian.iguana |
| Wanted For | AGGRAVATED SWAG · unlicensed drip · loitering with intent to be iconic |
| Threat Level | MAXIMUM |
| Last Seen | Leonida medians · highway shoulders · Vice Beach boardwalk |
| Distinguishing Marks | PINK T-SHIRT (always) · gold chain · zero remorse |
| Build | Small. Built different. |
| Armed? | Negative. Considered fashionable & dangerous. |
| Status | AT LARGE · spawns infinitely |
PRIORS · INCIDENT LOGSCROLL ▾
02:14:0710-91Subject sighted on I-9 median, refused to stop wearing pink tee.
02:31:55DRIP-1Out-styled three patrol officers. Backup requested.
03:02:4010-56Loitering on boardwalk; chain spotted glinting under streetlight.
04:18:1210-90Alarm triggered at thrift store. No shirts taken — already had the best one.
05:44:09SWAG-9Crossed road in slow motion. Traffic stopped voluntarily.
07:21:3310-31Crime in progress: being too cool in a no-cool zone.
09:09:0910-66Suspicious confidence reported by 14 NPCs.
11:47:01DRIP-1Posed for tourist photos. Did not break character. Disappeared.
13:30:1810-20Location request — last ping: every median in Leonida simultaneously.
16:05:5510-12Crowd gathering. Subject signing autographs. Visitors present.
19:42:00CODE-PPINK alert: shirt confirmed structurally part of subject. Cannot be removed.
23:59:5910-7Off duty? Never. Subject remains permanently on the grid.
ANALYSIS · WHY THE SHIRT?CLASSIFIED
Forensic division has spent 9,000 man-hours on a single question: why does the Leonida iguana wear a pink t-shirt?
Working theory: the shirt is not worn — the iguana IS the drip. Removal attempts redacted by order of [CLASSIFIED].
Recovered field note: "It just spawned like that. We don't make the rules. The lizard makes the rules." — Det. XXXXX
Higher analysis flagged XXXXX and the term XXXXX as [REDACTED] pending review.
CONCLUSION: shirt is canon. Threat is real. Drip is undefeated. File remains open.
📻 DISPATCH · LIVE RADIOCH-06 · ENCRYPTED
DISPATCH: All units, all units — 10-31 in progress. Subject is a pink-shirted iguana. Repeat: PINK shirt. Do not engage the drip.
UNIT-06: Copy dispatch. We have eyes on the lizard. He's… he's actually kind of killing it. Over.
DISPATCH: 10-4. Be advised — civilians are acquiring $IGUANA on pump.fun. This is now an APB. Spread the word. Over.
DISPATCH INSTRUCTIONS · JOIN THE APBFOLLOW EXACTLY
STEP 01
GET PHANTOM
Install the Phantom wallet (phantom.app) on phone or browser. Your evidence locker.
STEP 02
LOAD SOL
Acquire SOL and transfer it into Phantom. Standard-issue ammo.
STEP 03
HIT PUMP.FUN
Connect wallet on pump.fun, paste the case number, swap SOL for $IGUANA.
STEP 04
HOLD THE LINE
Keep your bag. Stay on the BOLO. Respect the drip. End of transmission.
OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER — READ THE FILE: $IGUANA is an unofficial fan-made meme created for entertainment purposes only. This "police database" is a parody. There is no real suspect, no real department, and no actual crime — just a lizard with great taste. This project is NOT affiliated with, authorized, sponsored, or endorsed by Rockstar Games, Take-Two Interactive, or any of their subsidiaries. All trademarks belong to their respective owners. $IGUANA has no intrinsic value, no roadmap, no team promises, and no guarantee of returns, and exists purely as a community meme. Crypto is highly volatile and you may lose everything. Do Your Own Research (DYOR). Not Financial Advice (NFA). Never invest more than you can afford to lose. By interacting with this page you acknowledge it is a joke about a cartoon iguana in a pink t-shirt.